Goodbye my love
by mamya
Summary: Penelope broke up with Derek one year ago; they meet again in his mother's house.
1. Goodbye my love

**Goodbye my love**

**A/N: I can't keep my mind on tracks to go on with my other stories but this just came out of my mind so here it is.**** I don't own Criminal Minds.**

"Penelope, what are you doing here?" Fran Morgan asked surprised; she hadn't seen the woman for more than one year now.

"Hello, Mrs. Morgan. I know I have no right to come here... I just want to have a word with you." Penelope said tiredly.

Fran looked at the unfamiliar appearance of Penelope. She seemed tired and had obviously lost a lot of weight.

"Are you alright dear? I'd like to talk to you but I'm waiting for Derek anytime now. I just don't think he would be too happy to find you here." Fran finally said.

"Oh okay. I just wanted to explain some things to you..."

"About Derek? He suffered a great deal you know." Fran said rather coldly.

"I know... I didn't want to make him suffer. I just thought it was for the best then. Now I have nothing left and I just needed to..." Penelope coughed painfully.

Fran saw her pale face and pulled her inside her house.

Penelope smiled gratefully.

"Are you ill Penelope?" Fran asked once seated on the couch.

"I'm dying... that's why I came. I just wanted to say goodbye before... and explain some things to you. I didn't want you to think I made Derek suffer on purpose."

"He suffered...a lot. He just told us you had met someone else."

"I lied. I was pregnant..." Penelope said abruptly.

Fran looked at her surprised.

"And the baby was..."

"The baby was his of course."

"So why did you leave? And where is the baby?" Fran asked upset.

"I found out I was pregnant but at the same time they found a tumor in my breast..."

"Oh dear..."

"I just couldn't get rid of the baby. The doctors told me that with the chemo and all, I couldn't keep the baby..." Penelope said tearfully.

"So you didn't say a word to Derek and decided to lie."

"I knew that Derek would choose me over the baby... I just couldn't."

"Did you once think about the baby? Your health? How could you take care of a baby if you were ill?"

"I was stupid. I was convinced that I could carry on my pregnancy. And then once the baby was born, start the chemo."

"What happened?"

"I lost the baby at six months. I was too sad to go to my doctors to start the medication and here I am today...I'm just dying."

"Why now Penelope?"

"It's just... you welcomed me in your family. I've been stupid and selfish. Leaving your son has been the toughest thing I've ever done. I just couldn't kill someone else to save my life. It's been stupid because now I have no baby, no fiancé... nothing."

"Did you talk to Derek since...?

"No. I couldn't."

"He deserves to know. He moved on... he's seeing..."

"I know who he's seeing... it was surely meant to be...them." Penelope said with some pain in her voice.

"Pene..." Fran said almost apologetically.

"No. It's okay. I should go now..." she left the couch slowly, obviously exhausted.

"What is the prognosis?"

"I never went back to the doctors. I don't want to go through chemo... I'm just letting time makes its work."

"Penelope, there's no way in hell; I'll let you go. We're going straight to the hospital."

"No! Just think about Derek... his happiness. I never once thought about him back then. I thought about the baby... the baby's gone and soon I'll join her..."

"It was a girl?"Fran asked with tears in her eyes.

Penelope nodded.

"Thanks for your time Fran. Just take good care of him." Penelope said hugging her one last time.

"Penelope, I can't let you…"

They were startled by the door opening to a happy couple.

"Mom, we're home. Tamara's just accepted to marry me."

He entered the living room; Tamara Barnes by his hand.

"What is she doing here?" he asked coldly at seeing the once blond woman in the house.

Penelope didn't even look at them. She threw a glance at Fran who nodded, took her purse and walked passed them.

"Don't worry, I was just leaving. Goodbye Fran. Ms Barnes, Morgan." She said before closing the door behind her.

"Goodbye my love." She whispered before walking away from the welcoming house.

**A/N: It's a one shot but it could be more if you want. Just let me know.**


	2. Curiosity and indifference

**2. Curiosity and indifference**

**AN: ****I don't own CM. here is chapter 2 because you so nicely asked for it. R&R.**

Derek looked at the closed door with disbelief.

"What was she doing here?" he asked once again turning towards his mother.

"She had some things to discuss with me." Fran answered with sadness.

"She had no right to come here after all this time."

"This is MY house, I welcome who I want." She said a little angered.

"Fine! If I had known she would be here, we would have come later. She ruined our moment." He said with a frustrated voice.

Fran sighed and looked at Tamara.

"I'm sorry dear. How are you?" she asked politely.

"I'm fine Mrs. Morgan."

"Call me Fran, we're practically family…" Fran said with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Thanks Mrs… Fran. Derek made me the happiest woman on earth, I love him so much."

"I'm glad he found you. Congratulations." Fran said hugging the young woman.

Her thoughts drifted to Penelope and her eyes welled up.

"Hey Mom what's with the tears?"

"Nothing, I'm just happy that you're finally beginning a family on your own." Fran said.

Derek looked at her suspiciously, Fran sensed that he didn't believe her but he couldn't argue with her in front of Tamara.

"Sarah, Desiree, John and the kids will be there for dinner. I have some shopping to do. Just make yourself home."

"We can go if you want." Derek proposed.

"No, it's ok. The fresh air will make me some good." She quickly took her purse and left without saying another word.

"I wonder what Penelope wanted?" Tamara asked looking at Derek's reaction.

"It's their problem. Mom said she wanted to tell her some stuff." Derek said with some indifference.

"It must be weird for you seeing your ex after all this time?"

"Not that much… she's the past…."

"Have you seen her? She's changed a lot…she lost a lot of weight and seemed tired…she didn't seem as vibrant as before…"

"And?"

"Nothing… I'm just curious."

"We have other matters to worry about Tamara; like our wedding, for example."

"Sure."

"Let's put our luggage in my room and have some rest before dinner."

"Ok Mr. Morgan." Tamara said looking at him suspiciously.

His indifference towards Penelope was rather suspicious for her… Well she was engaged to him now…Penelope Garcia was no longer a problem.

Fran couldn't help but think about Penelope while going to the grocery. She seemed so fragile… her heart went to the young woman she loved so much. She had to admit that Penelope hasn't been her favorite person this past year. She had seen her son' sadness grow with the time going… sadness that was quickly replaced by some happiness at being with Tamara but not the one she had witnessed while he was with Penelope.

She thought about Penelope's decisions. She was right, Derek would have chose her… they could have had other babies after the chemo was done… why did Penelope decide to leave Derek behind was still a mystery. She could have discussed it with him before leaving… but no she just left without telling him the truth…

Fran was decided to find out the truth. She just had to find where Penelope was.


	3. Remembrance

**3. ****Remembrance**

**I don't own CM.**** Thanks for the wonderful reviews!**

While Tamara was sleeping beside him, Derek kept replaying his break up with Penelope.

Seeing her again wasn't pleasant for him. It reminded him of what happened more than one year ago.

_**Flashback**_

"_Hey Princess, you wanted to have a talk?" Derek said entering her apartment._

_Penelope was sitting on her couch, nervously biting her nails._

"_Hem yeah. You should sit done." _

"_What is it?" he asked when she moved her head away when he tried to kiss her._

"_I'm sorry Derek… I think we should break up."_

"_What? Why?"_

"_I… I just met someone else."_

"_And you're telling me that as if it doesn't matter."_

"_I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cheat on you… it just happened."_

"_You cheated on me?" he asked with disbelief. This wasn't the Penelope he knew…_

"_I'm sorry… I just fell in love with him…"_

"_How long is it going on?"_

"_3 weeks… I…" she said putting a hand on his arm._

"_Just leave me the hell alone Penelope! I knew that things_ _were not great. All above with the constant presence of Tamara… I just thought you were jealous…NO! You were just banging someone else!" he yelled with pain._

"_I'm sorry but it's better be now than after we get married. You'll have no problem meeting someone who deserves you. Maybe Tamara is the one."_

"_Shut up… just shut up." He yelled tears in his eyes._

"_Just put my stuff in some bags… I'll come to take them later." He added after some silence._

_He left quickly after these words._

_Things never went back to normal… Just one week later, Penelope had left the BAU asking for a confidential transfer… surely leaving the state with her new lover._

_The team had been there to pick up the pieces she had left in his shattered heart._

_Tamara had been there too and he was grateful for that. He loved her with tenderness and knew that with her his heart was safe._

_**End of flashback**_

Derek got up and went in his mother room. He opened a drawer and picked a velvet box. He looked at the ring inside. He knew his mom wanted him to give it to his future wife… he just couldn't give it to Tamara; he only pictured it in Penelope's ring finger. Boy he was wrong. He quickly put it back inside the drawer when he heard his mother enter the house.

After doing her groceries shopping, Fran went to a cyberspace to use a computer. She searched through the Internet some information about Penelope. In vain, that was when she remembered Derek telling her that Penelope was terrific with a computer, she surely didn't want to be found.

She sighed deeply before leaving the place and drove towards her house. She managed to pick all the bags from the car and entered the house. She was quickly met by Derek going downstairs.

"Here Mom." He said taking all the bags.

"Thanks son."

"You bought all the shop or what?"

"Hey, we're celebrating your engagement. I have to cook a nice dinner.

"Mom, you don't have to do that a simple dinner will be nice."

"No sense. I want to…"

"Ok. Thanks."

"Son, about Penelope…"

"I don't want to talk about her mom."

"But she's…"

"I don't care mom. She obviously wanted to talk to you not me so just leave it please."

Fran nodded and silently walked to the kitchen.

Derek followed her with the bags.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have shouted at you."

"it's ok. I know you suffered a great deal when Penelope…"

"This is the past, she's the past mom. Tamara is my future now."

"Are you truly happy? Do you really love her?"

"Of course, I shouldn't have asked her to marry me if not."

"So, Should I give you your grandmother's ring?"

"Hem, No… I will buy another one…"

"Why?"

"The ring is beautiful but it's not Tamara's type."

"Mmh what a pity… your grandmother would have loved to see her ring on your fiancée's ring finger."

"I'm sorry… I just can't…"

"What can't you sweetheart?" Tamara asked appearing in the kitchen.

"Nothing… you ok?"

"Yes. I really needed the nap. Fran how can I help you?"

Fran smiled sweetly at Tamara.

"If you don't mind, I will need the vegetables chopped."

"Sure."

Derek looked at Tamara surprised. She hate cooking, always ordering take out from expensive places.

His thoughts proved him right when he looks at the awful work she had made a while later.

She looked apologetically at Fran.

"I'm sorry; I'm not really a great cook."

Derek chuckled.

"That's an understatement." He thought.

His smirk stopped when he crossed Tamara's dark eyes. She was frowning at him.

"That's ok sweetheart you have others talents." He said kissing her cheek.

Fran looked at her vegetables and sighed. Her mind returned to a similar moment several months ago.

_**Flashback**_

"_Derek told me that you would probably refuse but I want to help you."_

"_Fine, you can chop the vegetables."_

"_Sure."_

_While she was cleaning the chicken, Fran looked with awe how Penelope was chopping the vegetables._

_Penelope sensing the stare looks up._

"_Is there a problem? You didn't want me to chopp them like that?"_

"_Oh no… it's just you're chopping them like a chief."_

"_I love cooking… whenever I have the time; I prepare good meals for Derek."_

"_I'm glad he has someone to take care of him.""_

_Penelope blushed a little._

"_I love him." She whispered before returning to the vegetables._

_**End of flashback**_

"It's ok dear, these are still vegetables." Fran said finally.

She began cooking while Derek and Tamara sat in the backyard.


	4. Tired

**4****. Tired**

**Thanks for all the reviews! Keep R&R it helps me a lot!**

Penelope sighed from relief when the taxi finally arrived at the airport. She was nauseous and really tired. She quickly got out of the taxi after handing some cash to the driver.

"You're sure you're ok Madam?" tha man asked sympathically.

"Yes, just tired. Thanks. Have a nice evening." She said before closing the door.

She made a few steps towards the doors and a flashback came into her mind.

_Flashback_

_Penelope took a last glance at the house before entering the cab. This place held so many memories, some bad but also some wonderful ones._

"_I'm so sorry…" she whispered before entering the cab._

_She thought about her friends, she wasn't so sure she could call them that. They had given her the cold shoulder ever since they learned what she had done to Derek. Things were tensed and somehow she was relieved to leave the state. She couldn't blame them, she had broken his heart… they were engaged…they could have been so happy. If only…_

_She quickly wiped her tears before telling her destination to the driver._

_End of flashback_

Penelope slowly walked inside the airport, the fresh air made her some good. She went to the airline company to book a ticket.

"how can I help you madam?"

"I'd like to book a flight for Los Angeles. The first one to leave this evening."

"A round trip?"

"No a one-way ticket, please. I won't come back."

The woman smiled and typed some things on her computer.

"You have a flight leaving in one hour and half."

"Perfect."

"I'll need your passport and bank card please."

"Here is my passport and I'll pay in cash." Penelope said handing her the document.

"Sure."

While she was entering her details, Penelope began feeling really unwell.

"So it will be… Miss, are you ok?"

"Hem yeah, just tired. How much do I owe you?"

"It will be…"

Penelope never heard the end of her phrase as she fell unconscious on the cold ground.

Meanwhile, Fran was cooking. She checked in Derek and Tamara outside and quickly took her cell phone.

"Hotchner."

"Hem Agent Hotchner, this is Fran…Morgan."

"Mrs. Morgan? Is everything ok? Did something happen to your son?"

"No. Derek's alright. He arrived earlier with Tamara."

"Ok. So what is it?"

"Hem, it's about Penelope… Garcia."

"What about her?" he asked rather impatiently.

"She came to visit me earlier, she explained a few thing sto me about what happened last year."

"Mrs. Morgan, this is none of my concern…"

"I know that her leaving upset you and all her friends but I think she might need help."

"What?"

"She's ill Agent Hotchner…like really ill."

"And what can we do for her? She left us without thinking…"

"She had some good reasons…please..; I wanted to convince her to go to the hospital but then Derek arrived and she left… I don't know where she is…I really need to find her…"

She heard his sigh and prayed for a positive answer.

"Well, I'll see if we can find something but you're talking about Garcia if she doesn't want us to find her…"

"I know…thank you. I have to hang up now. Derek's coming."

"Hey who were you talking to?" Derek asked entering the kitchen.

"A friend. I needed to tell her the big news." She lied.

"Oh ok…"

"Can you help me with the table? Where's Tamara?"

"Upstairs." He said reaching for the plates.

"Thanks." She said before returning to her cooking.


	5. Dinner

**5. Dinner**

**I don****'t own CM.**

« What's the case? »

"Female in her thirties, fell unconscious at the airport. Her constants are low. She's barely breathing. Her heart…"

"She's crashing, rush her inside…" the doctor said with some urgency looking at the monitor inside the ambulance.

* * *

"Hey Mom, I'm back." Desiree said entering in the house.

"In the kitchen baby."

Desiree was surprised to see Derek walking towards her.

"Der…what are you doing here? Mom didn't tell me you were coming…"

"That was a surprise."

"I'm glad. How are you?" she asked hugging him.

"I'm fine... more than fine. I came with…"

"Good evening Desiree." Tamara said coming from upstairs.

"Tamara… Hello." Desiree replied smiling.

Tamara joined them and kissed Derek on the cheek.

"anything I can do my love?"

"No it's ok. The table is ready…"

Desiree left them and went to the kitchen.

"Hey Mom."

"Hi baby."

"Why didn't you tell me about Derek?"

"It was supposed to be a surprise, Desiree."

"Are you ok?" Desiree asked looking at her intently.

"Yes, I'm just…"

The door bell interrupted them.

"It must be Sarah…" she finally said smiling.

After the greetings everybody sat at the dinner table.

"It's been a while seen we had such a family dinner." Sarah said through the dinner.

"you're right, I can't even remember when was the lst time we…"

Derek smiled lightly; he remembered all too well when the last time they were all reunited was.

**_Flashback_**

_"You dinner is delicious Fran." Penelope said after chewing a mouthful of chicken._

_"Thanks Penelope."_

_"I hope my dessert will be as delicious as this." She said._

_"Your cooking is always delicious my love." Derek said kissing her cheek._

_Penelope blushed a bit._

_"it's really pleasurable to see our brother so in love." Sarah said looking at them._

_"Yes, It's reminds me of John and you…" Desiree said chuckling._

_They all laughed happily when they saw John blushing madly._

**_End of flashback_**.

"So; what's with the surprise visit, little bro?" Sarah finally asked while eating the dessert.

Derek looked at Tamara who was beaming then at his mother who nodded slightly.

"Well, Tam and I got engaged."

There was a huge silence after the announcement. Finally John got up to shook Derek's hand and kiss Tamara's cheek.

"Congratulations, brother."

"Thanks."

Meanwhile Sarah and Desiree were exchanging looks with their mother. Finally Fran cleared her throat and the two women got up.

"Congratulations love birds…" Desiree said hugging them.

"Did you settle a date yet?" Sarah asked curiously.

"Not yet…; we'll see and with Derek crazy agenda…"Tamara said smiling.

"I bought some champagne, I'll go get it." Fran said getting up.

"I'll get it mom." Derek said.

"Thanks."

The phone rang while he was walking past it.

"Hello?"

"Hello. This is Northwestern Memorial Hospital, Could I speak to Fran Morgan please?"

"Hem…. Yes." He answered puzzled.

"Mom… Northwestern hospital for you." He called.

Fran frowned and went to grab the phone.

"Fran Morgan."

"Yes. Why?"

Derek only stared at his mother as her face become paler with each passing second.


	6. Worried

**6. Worried**

**I don't own CM.**

"Mom, what is it?" He asked two times while she was listening blankly at her interlocutor.

"I'm coming right now." She finally said before hanging on.

"Mom what is it?" Derek asked again.

"Hem… a friend of mine got in a car accident. She has no family, I have to go there."

"Let me drive you…"

"No, no Stay here with Tamara. I'll be ok."

"You're not in the right state to drive…" he said stubbornly.

She looked at him for a frew seconds, she was going to talk but thought otherwise.

"Desiree could you come with me, please? I don't want Derek to leave Tamara alone. We won't be long I hope."

"Ok. I'll call you later."

"Ok baby. I'm sorry Tamara…but the champagne is on the fridge…"

"That's ok Fran… I hope your friend will be alright."

Fran closed her eyes briefly.

"I hope so." She whispered.

She took her purse and a light jacket before following Desiree outside.

Desiree climbed in the car and waited for her to enter.

"So what is it?" she asked as soon as she pulled back.

"What are you talking about? I'm worried about my friend."

"Mom, I noticed your behavior. You're not yourself; you seemed worried even before this phone call. And why didn't you want Derek to drive you?"

"Well… it's because this friend in the Hospital…"

"Yes?"

"It's Penelope."

"What?" Desiree shouted, her fingers squeezing the steering wheel.

_**Earlier**_

"_Do you know her identity?" the doctor asked once she was stabilized._

_The nurse took her purse and looked inside._

"_Penelope Garcia. She lives in California apparently."_

"_Well, Miss Garcia is far from being ok. She has a cancer, a breast cancer… she visibly hasn't taken any medications…"_

"_How is that possible? She surely knew that she was ill?"_

"_Maybe she didn't want to take them."_

"_You won't let her leave when she wakes up, right?"the nurse asked anxiously._

"_Over my dead body…I'm here to heal people not to let them die…even if…"_

"_Yes?"_

"_I fear it might be too late…"_

"_You have to try…"_

"_I know; we'll see when she wakes up. If you find someone to call, a friend, family; call them please. I fear that it will be hard to convince her."_

"_Yes Sir."_

_The nurse looked among her things in the purse. She retrieved a paper with some numbers written on it._

"_Fran Morgan." She read aloud._

_She quickly walked to the nurse station to make the necessary call._

"Don't shout like that young lady?"

"What is Penelope doing here? And why do you want to see her?" Desiree asked angrily.

"Desiree, Penelope came to see me earlier. She explained me a few things and while some things are not right for me, I can understand."

"So what is she doing in a hospital?" Desiree asked still with some temper.

"She's really ill…she's dying."

Desiree looked at her briefly than stared blankly at the road ahead.

"I have to make a call."

Desiree nodded but kept silent. She was still angered towards Penelope but she didn't want her to die. That was just too sad. She gulped to get rid of the lump in her throat.

"Agent Hotchner…It's Fran Morgan again. I found her. She's at Northwestern Hospital, she collapsed at the airport. Desiree and I are on our way I just wanted you to know."

"Hem… No I didn't tell him. He didn't take her presence very well earlier and with Tamara its'c not really…"

"Ok I'll keep you update."

She hung up and turned towards Desiree who was crying silently.

"Can you tell me what happened to her, mom?" she asked quickly wiping her tears.

"Oh baby." Fran whispered before updating her about the little she knew.

**R&R…That will be all for today!**


	7. To go or not to go

**7.**** To go or not to go.**

**Sorry for the wait, but We live in different time zones I think… I needed to sleep.**

**I don't own Criminal Minds**

Fran quickly left the car and rushed towards the ER entrance. She looked behind her to see if Desiree was following her.

"Desiree?"

"I can't mom. I 'm sorry it's just too much for now…I'll wait for you here."

"Sure." She said before going inside.

Desiree sat back in the car and looked at her phone. She wanted so badly to phone her brother. He deserved to know the truth and yet her mother didn't want to tell him. She had made a promise to Penelope and didn't want to betray her.

She tried to process all the new information she got from her mother. She knew that Penelope thought it was the best for them. She was right Derek would have chosen her but still, she should have discussed it with him. They loved each other so much… all this hurt and sadness and it was far from being over because sooner or later Derek would learn the truth and despite his resentment he would like to be there for her, for his baby girl.

She sighed and leaned her head on the steering wheel.

Fran walked towards the nurse station.

"Hello, I'm Fran Morgan; I'm here for Penelope Garcia."

"Ah yes… follow me please."

Fran stood still when she saw Penelope pale face.

"She's still unconscious, her heart is weak. I'll call the doctor who will update you."

"Thanks.""

She sat beside Penelope and took her hand in hers.

"Oh Penelope." She whispered, tears in her eyes."

After Fran and Desiree departure, Sarah began to clean the table. John helped her cleaning the dishes. Derek was speaking with Tamara.

"Why do you want to go? She told you it was ok."

"I want to be there for her."

"She's not alone. Desiree is there."

"I know but something's not right with her. She seemed off all along the dinner even before that."

"Everybody seemed off. Do you think I didn't notice that your sisters weren't that thrilled about our engagement?"

"What are you talking about? They were just surprised that's all."

"Mmh…If you say so." She replied with a frown.

"They're happy for us believe me…it's just that they never thought I would get engaged again after…."

"Penelope again…. This woman' shadow is always above us."

"Tam… Penelope is way behind us. You know that. I wouldn't have proposed otherwise."

"I'm just jealous of the link you shared… it's so much different then what we had. I Witnessed it so don't lie."

"Every relation is different and I'm satisfied with ours. Not you?"

"I am. I just love you too much and it's not fair to say that because you suffered a lot but I'm glad she left you."

Derek blinked and smiled lightly.

"So are you going there and leave me all alone?"

"No you're right. I'll call my mom later.""

"Good. Let's help John and Sarah then." She said joining the married couple in the kitchen.

Fran listened carefully at what Dr. Wyatt was saying.

"So, if she follow the medications protocol there's a chance?"

"there's always a tiny chance. The problem is that someone has to convince her. We'll probably have to remove the infected breast and start an aggressive chemo."

"I will be there. I'll try my best to convince her."

"Does she have any family?"

"She has some brothers in California but I'm not sure that they're still in contact. I'll have to check on it."

"It would be helpful if we have some important decisions to make… I'll come back later. Once she's conscious she will be moved to the Cancer unit."

"Ok. Thanks Dr. Wyatt."

"You're welcome."

After staring blankly into space for a long time, Desiree finally left the car and walked inside the hospital. She didn't want to leave her mom alone and surely she would need some help to handle Penelope.


	8. Late night

**8. Late night**

**Thanks for everyone that last reviewed my story. ****I'm sorry I just didn't have time to personally reply to each of you. Your reviews made my day. R&R!**

Desiree silently followed her mother inside the house. She was exhausted psychologically and physically. Penelope didn't listen to them. She stared blankly at some point on the wall and didn't utter a word. Fran was too tired to argue with her and told her they would come back the next day.

They were reaching for the room's door when Penelope whispered some awful words.

"Just let me die…I have nothing left."

Fran turned back and replied with some anger in her voice.

"We're not done Penelope. Despite what happened you're still like a daughter to me and I won't let you until you decide to fight for the little you have."

Then, they left the hospital.

* * *

"Go to bed Desiree. I'm sorry, I should have gone alone."

"No sense. And you'll need me, she's stubborn as hell."

"she is suffering because of what she had done and she realizes that it wasn't worth it finally."

"Mom, you should tell Derek…"

"Tell me what?" Derek said suddenly appearing from nowhere.

"A little warning next time." Desiree scowled.

"What should she tell me?" he asked looking at her directly in the eyes.

"Nothing son. You should go back to bed."

"Mom…"

"Not now Derek, I can't…"

"What are you hiding? I want to know…"

"Derek you should wait, she's tired…"

"Right. How is your friend?"

"Better. She's better. I'll go back tomorrow; the poor one is all alone."

"I can join you if you want…"

"I don't think so…"

"Mom what are you hiding? Earlier, you didn't want me to drive you. Now, you don't me to join you tomorrow."

Fran took a brief glance at Desiree who nodded.

"Fine! It's Penelope, she's ill, she's dying. You're happy now." She snapped before running upstairs.

Derek stayed there frozen. Desiree put a hand on his arm.

"Really?" he asked turning towards her.

"Really." Desiree replied simply.

"Just go to bed…we'll talk tomorrow Derek." She added.

"talk about what? She's dying so what? I don't care." He said before rushing upstairs.

Desiree sighed and went to her room as well.

* * *

After Fran and Desiree left, Penelope began to cry. She remembered the day her life had changed.

_**Flashback**_

"_So, Miss Garcia, you're pregnant." The doctor announced._

"_what these are great news." She said happily but frowned when she saw the doctor's stare._

"_There's something wrong right?"_

"_Well yes. You're pregnant but your blood work isn't normal so I've run some more tests…"_

"_and?"_

"_you have a cancer."_

"_A cancer?" Penelope repeated numbly._

"_I'm sorry. I scheduled a scan for you. We need to know where the tumor is."_

"_and what about the baby?"_

"_I fear that the wise decision is to abort."_

"_No!"_

"_Miss Garcia. You can't go through chemo and expect a baby in the same time. You'll have another chance to carry a baby; but not if you're sick. It's serious."_

"_I'm serious… I can't kill my baby…"_

"_Let's do the scan and we'll see what we can do, ok?"_

"_Ok."_

_That day she didn't go to Derek's place. She needed to be alone. How tell him she was pregnant but sick… she didn't want to kill the life they had created…_

_From this day, Penelope was a little more distant with Derek. Things weren't easy between them since she discovered he was still in contact with Tamara Barnes. Every time she wanted to tell him the_ news _she couldn't. She knew that Derek would choose her over the baby. The doctor was right they could have other babies; but how could she look herself in the mirror if she kills her baby just to save her own life._

_All these thoughts were messing with her mind.__ She was so confused about her feelings, Derek feelings towards her and Tamara Barnes that she came up with the idea of leaving him. Letting him think she had cheated on him. It was the best…_

_**End of flashback**_

"It was far from the best." She sobbed into the silent room.


	9. Hurt

**9. Hurt**

**Thanks again for all the reviews ! I agree Derek's a jerk but you'll see what happen…R&R****! I don't own CM.**

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Derek slammed the bathroom behind him before putting his hands on each side of the sink. He looked at his reflection on the mirror and put his fist on it, shattering the glass.

"Honey, you're ok?" Tamara asked a short time later.

"Hem. Yes… I slipped and broke the mirror. I'm sorry…"

"Are you hurt?"

"No… No." he lied looking at his bleeding knuckles.

"Ok, I'm going back to bed then."

"I'm coming." He replied.

he reached for the broken pieces and threw them in the garbage; then he left the bathroom.

"Derek where are you going?"

"I just need some alcohol for a little cut."

"Do you want me to help you?"

"No that's ok. I'll be quick."

He left the room and instead of going downstairs knowked at his mother's door.

"Yes?"

"Mom, can I enter?"

"Go ahead." She replied.

He opened the door and met her puffy red eyes.

He quickly reached for her and engulfed her in a tight hug.

"it will be ok… it will be ok." He kept repeating while stroking her back.

"No! she's dying. Do you understand? She refused to follow the treatment and now she's dying."

"it doesn't sound like Penelope. What's her problem?"

Fran pulled away and wiped her eyes.

"Cancer… breast cancer, she has it since last year."

"Last year? Mom…"

"Hem, it's a long story Derek. I'm tired we should have some rest and talk about it in the morning."

"Just one question. Did she know she had cancer when she broke up with me?"

Fran silence told him the truth.

"Derek…"

"No I don't want to hear more about it… I'm tired and hurt…I'm still hurting over that person."

"Oh Derek, she's hurting too…there's more behind all this."

"I… I can't mom, not anymore. Good night." He said kissing her cheek.

"Don't go to bed before putting something on your cuts." She said before he closed the door.

The next morning, Derek came back from his run to find his mom going out."

"Where are you going?"

"To see my friend."

"Oh she's your friend now?" he asked sarcastically.

"Derek, she's a human being. If you could just talk with her, you would understand some things."

"I don't…"

"So why are you still hurting over her? I thought that you moved on? God dyou got engaged! Be a man and go to visit her after that you may be able to really move on…"

Derek stared blankly at the grass. It took him two minutes to make a decision.

"Fine. I'll join you after my shower.""

"Room 325, cancer unit."

He nodded and entered the house, only to face an upset looking Tamara.

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Fran hoped that her little speech had convinced him. She knew that Penelope needed to tell him the truth. Derek Still cared for her of that she was certain. Hurting himself prove that he couldn't stand knowing Penelope was ill.

She quickly reached the hospital and walked towards the nurse station. There she met .

"Good morning Dr."

"Oh Mrs. Morgan we were going to call you."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Miss Garcia disappeared."

"What? How is that possible?"

"Someone brought her some breakfast, she didn't even it it and before we realized it she was gone."

"Oh my… I got to go… she surely went to the airport. Did she take her purse and clothes?"

"Yes… I'm so sorry…"

"That's ok. I'll call you when I find her."

"thanks Mrs. Morgan."

Meanwhile

"Good morning Tam." Derek said casually.

"Don't good morning me Derek! I heard your interesting conversation with your mother."

"And?"

"And? Are you kidding me? Are you really going to visit her?"

"She's ill Tam, even dying. Mom told me that I have to speak with her."

"So you're going to obey like a good dog."

"No I'm doing cause I'm a good son and I'm sure that she should have a reason to tell me that."

"what is so important to discuss with her? She left you!"

"I'm not having this talk with you right now. I'm going to take a shower and head to the hospital."

"If you go, I won't be there when you come back."

"are you threatening me, now?" he asked with disbelief.

"Don't you see that I'm doing this for us. It's time for you to move on. You going there isn't helping."

"I think the contrary. I'll talk with her one last time and we'll move on…"

"you didn't even deny that you haven't moved on yet…" tamara said sadly.

"Penelope has been a huge part of my life. Yes, she hurt me deeply and I never thought I would see her again. So yes, I need to see her one last time…"

"you still love her."

"What? Listen we'll talk about it later… you're too upset right now."

"Fine! I'll come with you then."

"Hotchner."

"Agent Hotchner, I'm sorry to disturb you again. It's just that Penelope escaped from the hospital. I really need some help for when I find her."

"Ok. I'll try to come with someone."

"Thanks."

Derek quickly showered; when he left the bathroom, he saw his cell phone flashing. He listened intently at the voicemail and had to sit at hearing the message.

**A/N: I know cliffhanger again…sorry!**


	10. Some truths

**10. Some Truths**

**A/N : Patience is a virtue! LOL! I don't own CM.**

**!**

After hearing the voicemail, Derek run toward the bathroom and threw up. Tamara alerted by the noise rushed inside.

"Hey are you ok?"

He didn't reply to her stupid question. He got up and washed his mouth.

"What's going on?" Tamara asked with an annoyed voice.

"Leave me the hell alone!" he shouted.

"What's your problem Derek? Maybe getting engaged isn't such a good idea!"

"yeah you're right, we better cancel the engagement."

"Honey, I'm sorry I didn't mean that. Let's talk about it later ok?" Tamara said fearing his decision.

"right." He muttered before splashing some cold water on his face.

"We should go to the hospital you know…"

"I won't go…"

"No?"

"No… Penelope called me and left me a voicemail, she told me all she wanted to say. It's over, it's over." He said.

"Really? Maybe you should call your mother to tell her…"

"It's ok Tamara. Just leave it now… I told you it's over." He said with some frustration.

"ok… I hate that woman you know. She ruined our week, we should be celebrating and not fighting. But she has to appear and mess again with what we have."

"What do you mean by "again"?

"you and I were meant to be. Penelope wad just a mistake in your life... she realized that I was the one for you and she left…I'm so grateful for that."

"So you're grateful that I suffered all these months?"

"No… But it was obvious that she didn't love you enough… she left you for another man Derek; she didn't realize what a great man you are…"

"Penelope wasn't a mistake. What we had was…magic while it lasted."

"Magic? And what we have is not?" she asked upset.

"Tamara, I'm fed with your temper ok?"

"Sorry, I just fought hard to have you and now I sense you sleeping away…"

"What did you fight to have me?" he asked.

Tamara was showing a side that he didn't like a lot.

"Why do you think I stayed in contact with you ever since my brother's death. I knew we were meant to be. But no! you decided to date that Tech girl instead of who was so perfect for you. I knew that at last if I keep in contact with you, I would win you over."

"So you deliberately crushed my relationship with Penelope?" he asked with disbelief.

"I'm sorry but aren't you happy now? With someone who truly loves you and won't leave you for another man?"

"Penelope never left me for another man; she lied."

"What?"

"she…"

He never finished his phrase as the need to throw up took over him.

Desiree entered the house and remembered that her mother wanted to come back to Penelope this morning. She went into the kitchen she heard the argument between Derek and Tamara. She waited for them to finish and went upstairs. She knocked at their room's door before entering.

Tamara was shouting at Derek who was obviously ill.

Desiree run towards her brother.

"Hey are you okay?""

"Desiree you should leave. Derek and I aren't done here." Tamara said coldly.

Desiree scowled at the older woman.

"No tam. We're done for good… Just leave my mother's house now. I don't wan to see you again."

"What?"

"You heard me, just pick your things and leave."

"Why? Because of this pathetic Penelope?"

"she loved me more than you do." He said.

Tamara chuckled and grabbed her bag.

"You'll pay for this Derek Morgan, you and your dying whore!"

"Watch your mouth Tamara or I'll kick you out after kicking your ass!" Desiree said walking towards her.

"Oh here we are… I should have known… you people from ghetto…" she said snakily.

"WE people from ghettos like you mentioned have more value than you! But we're really good at fighting." Desiree spat.

Tamara looked at her with fear and quickly grabbed her things before storming out

Derek looked at his little sister and laughed.

"I'm so proud of you Little Miss ghetto."

"I never liked her anyway. So what's wrong?"

"Just grab my phone and listen to the voicemail." He said getting up to rinse his mouth.

**A/N: Ok; so Tamara's out of the picture now. What should I do?**

**And sorry for the harsh words!**


	11. More truths

**11. More truths**

**I don't own CM**

Desiree grabbed the phone and pushed some buttons before listening to the message.

When she heard Penelope's voice, she took an intake of breath.

Fran was really worried. Penelope wasn't in good shape to travel anywhere. She hoped that she was right and that she would find her at the airport.

She parked and rushed out of her car. She sighed deeply when she took a glimpse of some red hair near the airline company.

She sat beside her and took her hand.

"Where do you think you're going Penelope?"

"I wanted to go back to LA but I lost my wallet." She sobbed.

"I'm glad you lost it then." Fran said smiling.

"Why? I'm nothing but trouble…"

"I consider you like a daughter Penelope…"

"You have Tamara now."

"She's nothing compared to you. I don't know her enough for that… and I know she's not right for my son."

"He chose her."

"He was hurting, he's still hurting."

"I'm a bad person…"

"You're not; you thought well… it's just I can't understand why you didn't tell him the truth. It's not only about him choosing you over the baby right?"

Penelope sighed.

"No… I was so insecure. Tamara was constantly present in our lives and I doubted Derek. I saw them several times having a coffee together and I lost it.

Just before I decided to do all that, Tamara came to see me and she told me that she was confused because Derek had kissed her after admitting that things weren't great between us…"

"And you believed her?"

"I was confused, sad and upset. Things were really tense between Derek and me at that time and knowing that he was still seeing her despite how upset I was about it just made me think it was the truth. I didn't want to be humiliated, being the girl THE Derek Morgan dumped, I didn't him to stay with me because I was pregnant or dying so I invented this entire cheating story. I was convinced that it was the right thing to do… my entire plan crumbled when I lost the baby."

"Oh Penelope." I understand; you have to talk to Derek, please. He was coming to the hospital you know?"

"I already called him and explained all of it in a message."

"Oh. We should go back to the hospital; you have to begin the chemo after your surgery."

"Fran no…it's too late."

"It's never too late… just try please. You can't leave like that without a fight."

Penelope shut her eyes and nodded.

Fran smiled and led her outside.

Desiree was nearly crushing the phone in her hand while listening at Penelope tired voice.

"_**Derek, it's me Penelope. **__**I know that by now you should know the truth; I just needed you to hear the truth from my mouth. First, know that I'm so sorry about what I've done. I never cheated on you and never planned to. I loved you too much for that.**_

_**Things weren't great when I learned that I was pregnant but at the same time I learned I had cancer, a breast cancer. I was destroyed because the doctor wanted me to abort, and then have a surgery and some chemo. I couldn't do that; I couldn't kill the life we had created.**_

_**Every time I wanted to tell you the truth, I just couldn't. I knew that you would tell me what the Doctor told me. I wasn't thinking straight then, I realize it now… things weren't great with Tamara and all… I just decided selfishly to leave you. I was so sure you wanted to be with her and I don't**__**blame you… she told me that you made a move on her and I believed her. I should have talked it with you… I don't know what happened, I was just telling you that I cheated on you… and all that was over…**_

_**I was persuaded that I could have the baby… I was so wrong. I lost her, you and my health in the process. I was so depressed that I didn't even think about having the necessary surgery and chemo… I just let life goes on… and here I am today dying. I don't ask you to forgive me but to understand why I did what I did. Sure we could have had other children but the abortion would have always stayed in my mind… it would have**__**crushed us some more.**_

_**I don't blame you for kissing Tamara or being with her right now. You deserve to be happy and that's all I wish for you. Just be happy for me Derek Morgan.**_

_**Goodbye my love."**_

Desiree was crying uncontrollably after hearing the message.

"Oh god." She whispered painfully.

"Yeah." Derek said crossing his arms other his chest.

"So what now?" she asked wiping her tears.

"I don't know… I can't face her…not like that. She's dying." He said tears in his eyes.

Desiree hugged him.

"You can be there for her. She will surely listen to you. She loves you."

"She loved me. She said so."

"She loves you… I know it. Let's call mom ok?"

Derek nodded and quickly wiped his tears. He was ready for a new challenge.

**A/N: R&R! That will be all for today!**


	12. Meeting her again

**12. ****Meeting her again**

**A/N: I 'm sorry for the long update…Life just got in the way. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.**** R&R**

After hearing that Penelope had tried to escape from the hospital and leave Chicago, Derek and Desiree rushed to the hospital. They arrived just when Fran was leaving the room.

"How is she?" Derek asked immediately.

"She will be better here… They have replaced the IVs and they have scheduled the surgery… she's still coping… they'll remove both breasts."

Desiree put her hand on her mouth while Derek briefly shut his eyes.

"Can I see her?" He asked sorrow in his eyes.

"She told me about the phone call. So you know?"

He nodded unable to speak.

"Just sort things out with her son…"

"I'll try."

"Where's Tamara?"

"She left… definitively."

"Oh… I won't miss her." Fran said.

"Mom…"

"She wasn't right for you not as much as Penelope is…"

"She was mom; what we had is gone… too much time has passed and now this…"

"If that's what you decide then it will be…" she replied enigmatically.

He looked at her puzzled before she rushed him in the room.

Derek stood near the closed door some seconds before stepping more inside.

"I don't bite you know… I didn't think I would come after hearing my message."

He kept silent and sat in the nearby chair.

"Why are you here Derek?" she asked after some more silence.

"I wanted to see you and push you to fight against the cancer."

"Why do you care?"

"You'll still be my baby girl." He said with a deep voice.

"Oh Derek…. I'm so sorry. I'm a horrible person… God punished me well…"

"Sshh don't say things like that…everything happens for a reason right?"

"Maybe… but what I have done to you… to the baby….god." she said choking on the words.

"I've played a part in that as well… I shouldn't have left Tamara come between us so easily. I was genuinely concerned about her. I had no romantic feelings for her then."

"But now you're marrying her." She said with a blank voice.

"You should go back to her…she's your future…"

"Not anymore. I know that she did all she could to tear us apart and she succeeded. I was just comforting her Penelope, I never kissed her back then…"

"It doesn't matter anymore Derek… just go on with your life. I'm so tired."

"I won't let you go Penelope. Not another time. I still care about you. I'll be there to help you during your treatment."

"I don't want you to care about me!" she said bitterly.

"So, what do you want?"

"Don't you understand all I've done was selfish, I just thought about myself. You can't come and tell me everything will be alright."

"I'm not telling that… I'll be your friend if you need me to be. You shouldn't be alone. You've been alone all these months."

"Damn no! I don't want you near me don't you understand. You may be over me but I'm not over you. I don't want to be reminded everyday what I've lost because of my foolishness! Don't you see that I love you!" she cried out.


	13. Escape

**13. Escape**

**Thanks for the reviews… I know it's sad and heartbreaking but hopefully it will get better.**

Derek looked at her frozen. He didn't know what to do. He saw her tearful face and the obvious pain on it. He turned back and put his hand on the doorknob.

* * *

Penelope looked at Derek with pain and shame. She didn't think to tell him all that. It just came out and now she would have to deal with the pain she would surely feel when he leaves her alone.

She saw him looking at her with wide eyes, then he turned back ready to leave her room.

"I shouldn't have said that." She whispered.

She turned her back to the door as best as she could with all the wires.

* * *

Fran and Desiree decided to go to the cafeteria while Derek talked to Penelope.

"Is she ok for the treatment?"

"She decided to try it after the surgery. It's the surgery that frightens her the most, the idea of losing both breasts."

"Poor Penelope. I wish she had told Derek about her cancer. Of course he would have chosen her but there would be still hope for them to have other babies… but now…"

"She will survive…she has to." Fran said sipping her coffee.

"Do you think there's a chance? For her, I mean."

"There's always a chance…She just needs something to fight for. Derek needs to be there for her. She still loves him so much."

"He loves her too. They're so right for each other."

"What happened with Tamara?"

"She's been so mean Ma. She called us "people from ghetto" and apparently she made all she could to damage Penelope and Der's relationship."

"How so?"

"She made Penelope believe that Derek had kissed her and that he was really attracted to her etc."

"What a ****! I prefer not saying it aloud. So much time wasted."

"And maybe they won't have enough time…" Desiree sighed.

"Don't be so pessimistic honey. Yes Penelope should have begun the treatment instead of keeping the baby or even starting it after losing it but she's not dying! Not if we can impeach it. I think they had enough time, let's go." Fran said getting up.

Desiree sensed that her mother was upset. She knew that despite what happened she still loved Penelope like her own daughter. She reached for her arm and squeezed it.

"You're right we'll fight with her."

They arrived near the nurse station on time to meet with a very distraught Derek.

"Derek what happened?" Desiree asked panicked.

"I just need some fresh air." He said not meeting their eyes.

"What happened?" Fran asked again patting his shoulder.

"Nothing… nothing she's ok."

He left them puzzled. They looked at him as he took the elevators.

* * *

Fran wasn't happy to find a sobbing Penelope.

"Penelope what is it?"

"Nothing. I rather stay alone. You should go back home, keep on with your lives." She said her back still turned to the door.

"What happened with Derek?" Desiree asked bluntly.

Fran looked at her with wide eyes but Desiree shrugged and reached for Penelope's body before turning her towards them.

"What happened?" she asked again.

"Desiree leave her alone…"

"No I want to know. What did Der said or did to you?"

"He did nothing. I'm just stupid… I… I told him I still loved him that's why I didn't want him near me. I didn't want him to remind me all that I lost." She sobbed.

"And what did he say?"

"Nothing: he said nothing! You're happy now! I can't blame him though, who would want to renew with a dying selfish bitch like me."

Desiree looked in awe as Fran slapped Penelope hard on the face.

"I…I…I shouldn't have done that." She said with some difficulty.

Penelope had stopped crying and was patting her tingling cheek.

"You two are just the most stubborn people I know… And don't call yourself a selfish bitch… you're my son baby girl and I won't let you two waste this second chance!" she said tears in her eyes.

Then she left without another word.

* * *

Desiree looked at the closed door, then at Penelope.

"I'm sorry."

"She's right I should be fighting against the cancer and not weeping like a baby. I should focus on myself and what I have… Derek's the past…"

"But that's not what she said…" Desiree protested.

"I'm tired, can you leave me alone, please? And thank you for coming." She said turning her back to the door again.

* * *

Derek was sitting in front of the hospital when he saw his mother storming towards him. He got up worried at seeing her tears.

"What happened?" he asked.

Fran didn't answer and slapped him hard on the cheek.

"What the hell?" he asked.


	14. Confessions

**14. Confessions**

**I don't own CM.**

**Thanks again for your wonderful reviews! Don't be sorry, the angst will dim a bit!**

**

* * *

**

_Derek was sitting in front of the hospital when he saw his mother storming towards him. He got up worried at seeing her tears._

"_What happened?" he asked._

_Fran didn't answer and slapped him hard on the cheek._

"_What the hell?" he asked._

"Watch your mouth Derek Morgan!" Fran said with an angered voice.

"What is it, mom?" he asked with an annoyed voice.

"I didn't bring you up to be a coward Derek!"

"what?"

"you heard me well… you found her again. She needs you, she loves you and all you found is leave her."

"Mom…"

"Let me finish. I know…I'm even sure that you still love her even being with Tamara couldn't change that!"

"I know…" he said.

"So why leaving her crying in her room?" she asked with disbelief.

Derek sighed and looked away from her.

"I was scared…"

"Scared?" Fran repeated looking at the faraway look on her son's eyes.

_**Flashback**_

_After her confession of love, Derek looked at her with some surprise. He was overwhelmed by all sorts of feelings: panic, love, hurt, sadness, desire…_

_He just didn't know what to do… After looking into her sad brown eyes, he turned his back to her ready to leave._

"_I shouldn't have said that." She whispered_

_He froze while holding the doorknob tightly. Then, he left without another glance towards her._

_Once outside he leaned his back on the door._

"_I do love you too. I just can't…" he thought._

_**End of flashback**_

"What are you scared about?"Fran asked bringing his mind back in the present time.

"I... It's hard for me to see her like that. I want to be able to help her to get better but I can't… God will decide this for us…"

"she needs you at her side. She needs all the support we can bring if you're willing to… if not, Des and I will be there."

"I…"

"Don't you love her?"

"I do love her. It's just too hard, too much. The broke up, her reappearance, the truth, the illness… I don't know if I'm able to give her what she needs… so much things passed between us."

"And yet… you're still in love with her and she still loves you. You can sort things out son."

Derek nodded imperceptibly and frowned when he spotted an agitated Desiree coming towards them.

"What's wrong?" he asked alarmed.

"Pen … she said that Mom was right that she needed to focus on fighting the cancer and not think about the past, that Derek was the past…"

"Enough is enough, son. Go to her and do things right now." Fran commanded.

Derek hesitated one second. He nodded and kissed his mother and Des' cheek.

"Thanks. I love you both." He said before rushing inside.

**A/N: Short I know! I wait for your reviews!**


	15. Forgiveness

**15****. Forgiveness**

**I don't own Criminal Minds**

**A/N: Sorry! It took me forever to update but I had begun this chapter and wasn't really satisfied with it. But here it is. R&R**

Derek carefully entered Penelope's room. Her eyes were closed but he knew she wasn't sleeping.

He cleared his throat and stepped forward.

"I don't want to see anyone." She said coldly.

"Baby Girl, it's me."

"You're on top of my blacklist Morgan. I don't want you to humiliate me further."

"Humiliate you?"

"You leaving as if I was suffering from a very infectious disease is enough."

"Baby G… Penelope, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave like that. Your revelation just shocked me."

"so much that you left."

"I… it was stupid, I know. But it didn't reveal what I really feel about you."

"What? You don't feel pity for me? I'm just stupid… but that's ok I won't bother you further."

"Stop it will you! I can't stand hearing you talk like this. Where is the Penelope Garcia always smiling and having a positive behavior?"

"She died when she lost her child." She said with a little voice.

"the child was mine too Pen. Even if I didn't know it, it hurts. But I'm glad you're still alive and I want to be there for you."

"For what? To see me die?"

"No! you won't die and I want to be there for you, you'll heal… I won't let you give up on on your life, on us, on our family."

She snorted.

"What family? I abandoned you all? Who have I left? I gave up on what I had with you and our friends…I'm a coward."

"no you're strong. Of course I'd prefer if you had told me the truth but our relationship was so on the rocks and I understand… I just want you to forgive me."

"forgive what? It's me who should seek forgiveness… all I did was so wrong."

"Maybe but you have to forgive me about Tamara. I should have cut all contact with her then… if only…"

"Don't blame yourself Derek, we both made mistakes. I just don't want you to be here out of pity."

"I love you silly girl! I don't feel pity believe me." He said, his eyes full of love.

Penelope blushed and was going to answer when someone knocked on the door.

"Come in." Derek said turning towards the door. He smiled when he saw Hotch entering followed by JJ.

From the corner of his eye, he was Penelope tensed up.

He looked as she glanced blankly at them.

* * *

Hotch and JJ quickly reached the hospital after arriving to Chicago airport. Hotch had to talk JJ into coming with him. He knew that she had been deeply hurt by their friend's sudden disappearance; even more after Derek's shocking revelations. She thought Penelope was her best friend and that she considered her as hers too. She was disappointed to see that she was wrong.

Now they was in her presence again after nearly two years.

A long silence followed their entrance. Derek cleared his throat and spoke again.

"I'm glad that you came." He said with a smile.

JJ nodded silently, her eyes never leaving Penelope's.

Hotch took a few steps towards his ex tech.

"Good evening Penelope." He said simply.

"Good evening Sir…em Hotch."

"Good evening? Is that all that you're going to tell us Penelope?" JJ asked coldly.

Penelope looked at JJ with some sadness and turned her eyes away from her.

"Won't you tell us why you abandoned us and the man you supposedly loved? Why you acted like a coward and a b****?"

"JJ enough!" Derek growled. He knew that his blonde coworker was mad at Pen but that wasn't what she needed right now.

He took Penelope's hand in his and squeezed it.

"It's ok Derek. She's right. You should sit down. I'll tell you what happened." She said with a small voice.

JJ looked at her broken friend. She felt guilty for not thinking about her visibly bad health.

"Pen, I…"

"Sit down." Penelope said.

Hotch and JJ took a seat and listened to their friend' sad story.

Penelope decided to tell them the entire story because she knew that was the only way to gain their forgiveness.


End file.
